And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
