DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
