i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
