I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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