i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
