my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
