anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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