Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
