K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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