He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
