Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize