Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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