there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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