I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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