yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Watching her eat just hurts me
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I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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