Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
