Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
