He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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