i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
