oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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