i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
