is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
