Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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