he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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