so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
