Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
