Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
