she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
