Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
