Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
