That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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