her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
