I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
