I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
