He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize