I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
