i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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