I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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