Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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