dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
