You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
