Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He passed out mid-signature
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
