i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
