The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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