Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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