Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know, be my cock's hype man.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
