Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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