margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
