Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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