A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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