I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
