It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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