Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
