So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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