Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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