In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
